Clio Palmperfect Shaver How To Use

Hilarious guest post about the Clio PalmPerfect Pixie past my friend Emma Wrye.

PSA - Please Avoid This Razor

I would similar to laissez passer along a personal PSA.

I have iii kids and between school schedules and activities I experience productive if I get the 11,000 loads of laundry done every week. (And past "done" I hateful washed, unremarkably dried, and more than often than not, gathered in clean piles on top of the washer, dryer, burrow, or laundry basket or some combination thereof, but that'due south another postal service for another twenty-four hour period). I rarely accept whatsoever fourth dimension for myself other than glancing at FB or if the hubs is working belatedly then it's unremarkably just a glass of wine and an episode of True Blood or two before passing out from exhaustion.

And so I've been doing touch ups on my lady $.25 and keeping the bikini line de-furred as needed merely haven't done any major overhauls for quite some time. With the weather condition hitting 90°+ lately I've been feeling a little yeti-ish and decided I needed to trim the hedges dorsum a bit more. I really hate the razor-in-the-shower routine but I'grand not confident enough to bare my bits at a waxing salon and I actually don't desire to spend $fifty for a stranger to torture my vulva subsequently my vagina already birthed a 8.5# baby with shoulder dystocia that caused a third caste perineal tear. It took me a year to recover from that and then I didn't want to risk PTSD in front of some poor innocent aesthetician. And so I found a personal trimmer at Target today. Information technology's called a Clio PalmPerfect Pixie. It'southward small. It'south pink and lavender. It works moisture or dry out. It has three settings for length. And it only price $x. Perfect!

Not really.

Later on the kids finally went to slumber I decided to go give my new trimmer a test drive. I popped a AA battery in it earlier to see what it sounded like. That little sucker sounded more similar a prop plane coming in for a crash landing than an electric razor but information technology looked like it would practise the task nicely. Now, like I said, I oasis't done much more than edging for the last year or so. I mean, I was half afraid I would find a garden gnome hanging out in my bush during its trim. I knew it was a big undertaking and then I decided to beginning dry over the trash can first and and so exercise the rest of the make clean up in the shower to avoid a potentially costly plumbing trouble from Cousin Itt getting a haircut.

I told my married man where I was going and exactly what I was doing lest he thought the loud buzzing audio was something else altogether.

I positioned myself at the edge of the toilet, legs slightly spread, and trash can under the lip of the toilet. I looked down and speedily realized that I couldn't meet the area where I was supposed to be using a sharp object. My belly was in the way. It's not a piddling poochie post partum tummy. Between my diastasis recti, 11 PM snacks, and my unwillingness to even walk downward the block to selection upwardly my oldest from school once the temps hit 85°, I have a full on six months pregnant wait going. Trying to pull my belly flap out of the style and somehow stretch my skin in social club to go that perfect 45-90 degree angle that the instructions said was necessary was going to exist a tough one. However, I am still breastfeeding a three yr onetime that fell off the bed while still fastened to my nipple the other night and I didn't even audibly yelp so I knew I could tackle this challenge!

I started with the 5mm baby-sit. I ran it back and forth over the top of my bikini line. Nothing. I tried once more. And once more. I may have gotten iii hairs bent over but I don't call back it actually cut through anything. Okay, over to the 3mm baby-sit. I tried again. Still nothing. It was like trying to cut through a cornfield with a Barbie comb. Off with the trimming baby-sit and straight to the razor! I carefully pulled my skin taut with 1 manus while using my forearm to pin back my gut and gently pulled the razor across my skin.

OHMIGOD.

Information technology felt like Lou Ferrigno had swirled my pubic hair onto a fork similar a big bite of spaghetti and so RIPPED it out. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes and I hissed similar a ophidian. "I must exist doing this incorrect" I thought while I read the directions for the 3rd fourth dimension. 45° angle? Check. Low-cal pressure? Cheque. Gently pull across and end with a ninety° perpendicular angle? Check. So why did this feel like someone was trying to run my vulva through a garbage disposal?!? I tried it over again and the hurting was just as bad, if not worse. I looked to come across if I had mistakenly set it to "Grate" but in that location was only an On/Off button.

I tried gamely for a few more than minutes before gasping for breath and setting the torture device aside. I eyed the Clio with an intense hatred but thought it might work better IN the shower. I ran my regular razor through the worst part of the thicket to at least give the electric trimmer an easier sheet to piece of work with. I waded through the hairy tile, which now looked like the tent floor after a canis familiaris evidence, and hopped in the shower with Miss Clio and my regular razor as backup. The directions didn't say whether I should use soap when shaving in the shower so I tried without information technology first. Wet pubic hair being ripped out by the roots does not hurt any less than dry out pubic hair existence ripped out by the roots, by the way. I liberally squirted soap on my crotch and tried gamely again although by now the redness of my skin was clashing with the supposedly soothing pinkish and lavender colors of the razor.

Afterwards a few more minutes of intense pain and suffering I gave up. I used my trusty Mach 3 men's razor which I take been using faithfully for several years at present to stop the hack job that Clio started. When I was done I limped out of the shower, gingerly put some underwear on over my abused girl parts that looked like it had been attacked by fire ants and so a pack of groundhogs, and got the broom and dustpan to clean upwards the show of my hirsute genes.